Hindu · Pre-wedding

Roka / Tilak

The first formal commitment between the two families, marking that the match is settled.

Also known as: roka, tilak, engagement, shagun, thaka

What it means

Roka literally means 'to stop' — both families agree to stop looking further, signalling the union is fixed. The tilak (a mark applied to the groom's forehead) is a blessing and a public acknowledgement of acceptance.

What happens

  1. 1The bride's family visits the groom (or both families meet) with sweets, gifts, and shagun (token money).
  2. 2A tilak of roli/kumkum is applied to the groom's forehead, often by the bride's father or brother.
  3. 3Gifts, dry fruits, and sweets are exchanged; elders bless the couple.

Regional variations

  • In Punjabi families this is often called 'Roka' or 'Thaka'; in many North Indian families the groom-side ceremony is 'Tilak'.
  • Marwari families may hold a more elaborate 'Sagai' with extensive gifting.
Applies to: North Indian Hindu, Punjabi Hindu, Marwari Hindu
This explanation is under review by a religious authority — a companion to, not a replacement for, your pandit.

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